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Everybody Must Learn How to Deal with Anger

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Pamela

Pamela
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Admin

For some people anger is corked under a calm exterior. It ferments where no one can see it. Others spout off instantly if they get angry. Others turn red in the face and tremble. Others become sullen and silent. Others become caustic and cutting with their tongue.

But everybody has to deal with it one way or the other—anger is a universal experience, and most of it is not good. I base that on James 1:19–20 which says, "Be slow to anger, for the anger of man does not work the righteousness of God." We should learn how to be slow to anger because what comes quickly is usually tainted by unrighteousness. It's simply human rather than being godly.

But we know that not all anger is bad. Jesus was a man without sin, yet it says in Mark 3:5, "He looked around at them with anger grieved at their hardness of heart." And Psalm 7:11 says, "God is angry every day." And Paul says in Ephesians 4:26, "Be angry and sin not." Not all anger is bad. Some is good and right and necessary.

But mainly the Bible warns us against the dangers of anger. "Be slow to anger, for the anger of man does not work the righteousness of God" (James 1:19–20). "Put away all anger and wrath and malice" (Colossians 3:8. "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor . . . be put away from you with all malice" (Ephesians 4:31). "Now the works of the flesh are plain: . . . strife, jealousy, anger . . . " (Galatians 5:20). "Every one who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment" (Matthew 5:22).

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Pamela

Pamela
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Admin

If it takes root in your heart and becomes a grudge or an unforgiving spirit, it can destroy you. That's the point of Jesus' parable in Matthew 18 about the unforgiving servant: after having his massive debt cancelled by the king, he refuses to cancel the tiny debt of his friend. And so the king throws him into jail for his heartlessness. Jesus closes the parable with this warning in verse 35: "So also will my heavenly Father do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart."

Anger is very dangerous. It can take over your heart, turn into a lasting grudge, or an unforgiving spirit, and the result will be judgment. Jesus said very plainly in Matthew 6:15, "If you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." To feel the weight of that warning let's put it in three parts:


  1. No one goes to heaven unforgiven by God. Heaven is a place given only to forgiven sinners.
  2. No one is forgiven who is unwilling to be forgiving.
  3. No one goes to heaven who is unforgiving.

Jesus treats anger the way he treats lust. If you don't fight lust, you don't go to heaven (Matthew 5:29). If you don't forgive others, you won't get to glory (Matthew 6:15).

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Pamela

Pamela
Admin
Admin

Is this salvation by works? Does this teach that we earn our way to heaven? No. Salvation is by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8 ). And the opposite of salvation, judgment, is not by grace through faith, but by works (the opposite of grace) through unbelief (the opposite of faith). So that's what Jesus means.

Therefore when Jesus teaches that an unforgiving spirit or bitterness leads to judgment and not to salvation, he means that bitterness is a kind of unbelief. And the way to fight against it is to fight the fight of faith. The battle against bitterness in our hearts is not an effort to work our way to heaven. It's a battle to believe the Word of God, and bank on the promises of his grace.

How to battle the unbelief of bitterness:

  1. Believe that what the Great Physician says is good advice. If he says, "Put away anger," don't ignore the counsel. Put it in your mind and resolve to keep it.
  2. Believe that you are forgiven, and that being forgiven by an infinitely holy God is an awesome thing.
  3. Believe that vengeance belongs to God, that he will repay those who do wrong.
  4. Believe that God's purpose in all your trials is to turn the cause of your anger for your good.

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Pamela

Pamela
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Admin

Patience and Endurance
[1 Samuel 30:6 NKJV) Now David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and his daughters. But David strengthened himself in the LORD his God.

(Psalms 37:9 NKJV) For evildoers shall be cut off; But those who wait on the LORD, They shall inherit the earth.

(Psalms 123:2 NKJV) Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their masters, As the eyes of a maid to the hand of her mistress, So our eyes look to the LORD our God, Until He has mercy on us.

(Isaiah 40:28-31 NKJV) Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the LORD, The Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. {29} He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength. {30} Even the youths shall faint and be weary, And the young men shall utterly fall, {31} But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.

(Luke 8:15 NKJV) "But the ones that fell on the good ground are those who, having heard the word with a noble and good heart, keep it and bear fruit with patience.

(Luke 21:19 NKJV) "By your patience possess your souls.

(Acts 14:22 NKJV) strengthening the souls of the disciples, exhorting them to continue in the faith, and saying, "We must through many tribulations enter the kingdom of God."

(Romans 2:7 NKJV) eternal life to those who by patient continuance in doing good seek for glory, honor, and immortality;

(Romans 5:1-5 NKJV) Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, {2} through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. {3} And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; {4} and perseverance, character; and character, hope. {5} Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

(Romans 8:18-25 NKJV) For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. {19} For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. {20} For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; {21} because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. {22} For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. {23} Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body. {24} For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? {25} But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.

(Romans 15:4-5 NKJV) For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope. {5} Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus,

(Colossians 1:9-11 NKJV) For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; {10} that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; {11} strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy;

(2 Thessalonians 3:5 NKJV) Now may the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the patience of Christ.

(1 Timothy 6:11-12 NKJV) But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness. {12} Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

(Hebrews 10:35-38 NKJV) Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. {36} For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise: {37} "For yet a little while, And He who is coming will come and will not tarry. {38} Now the just shall live by faith; But if anyone draws back, My soul has no pleasure in him."

(Hebrews 12:1-4 NKJV) Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, {2} looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. {3} For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls. {4} You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.

(James 1:2-4 NKJV) My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, {3} knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. {4} But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

(James 5:10-11 NKJV) My brethren, take the prophets, who spoke in the name of the Lord, as an example of suffering and patience. {11} Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord; that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful.

(2 Peter 1:2-8 NKJV) Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, {3} as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, {4} by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. {5} But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, {6} to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, {7} to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. {8} For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

(Revelation 3:10-12 NKJV) "Because you have kept My command to persevere, I also will keep you from the hour of trial which shall come upon the whole world, to test those who dwell on the earth. {11} "Behold, I am coming quickly! Hold fast what you have, that no one may take your crown. {12} "He who overcomes, I will make him a pillar in the temple of My God, and he shall go out no more. And I will write on him the name of My God and the name of the city of My God, the New Jerusalem, which comes down out of heaven from My God. And I will write on him My new name.

(Revelation 14:12-13 NKJV) Here is the patience of the saints; here are those who keep the commandments of God and the faith of Jesus. {13} Then I heard a voice from heaven saying to me, "Write: 'Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.' " "Yes," says the Spirit, "that they may rest from their labors, and their works follow them."

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Guest

Anonymous
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I remember, from the last few years that because of the those around me. There struggles and exstream misstreament of me, drove my body to be in pain. I at one time that I my heart woulnt stop hearting. I dont know if you remember that at all. I know that I was being filled with bad anger from those around me, and not knowing what to do with my feelings. I was broken by them, and told that I was always wrong. As if my feelings were unfounded by that that I felt was prevoking them in the first place.

It was that part of the word that says be angry and sin not. I had to get to the point of addmeating that I started hating those that was doing this, and it was starting to kill me.

I needed to first of all, get some that I can talk to, that I could trust, would act as Jesus would. Not condeming me, but helping me get free from those that was doing this to me. In other words I had to turn over my own tables around me. And know it was ok!

I dont know if this will help at all. But there it is!

Pamela

Pamela
Admin
Admin

Hardy wrote:I remember, from the last few years that because of the those around me. There struggles and exstream misstreament of me, drove my body to be in pain. I at one time that I my heart woulnt stop hearting. I dont know if you remember that at all. I know that I was being filled with bad anger from those around me, and not knowing what to do with my feelings. I was broken by them, and told that I was always wrong. As if my feelings were unfounded by that that I felt was prevoking them in the first place.

It was that part of the word that says be angry and sin not. I had to get to the point of addmeating that I started hating those that was doing this, and it was starting to kill me.

I needed to first of all, get some that I can talk to, that I could trust, would act as Jesus would. Not condeming me, but helping me get free from those that was doing this to me. In other words I had to turn over my own tables around me. And know it was ok!

I dont know if this will help at all. But there it is!
Yes, that is true hardy...We need people we can talk to that we can trust to not condemn us. It is truly a blessing when God sends people in our lives that we can relate to like they were your own family.

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