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As the Twig is Bent

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1default As the Twig is Bent on Mon Mar 03, 2008 10:29 am

Pamela

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In most ministries/churches I notice that the source of pain which seems to affect people the most stems from things that happened to them in their childhood. Proverbs 22:6

What is a child? An immature person, (1) Spirit, spiritually, (2) Soul, mentally, mind, will, emotions, (3) Body, physically.

1. It is a well established fact that the people most vulnerable to hurt is the little children.

a. The child needs the approval of the authority figures in his life.

b. He is the most susceptable to be a wounded spirit due to the failure of the authority figure to validate him.

2. Thoughtless behavior on the part of authority figures (particularly the parents) contributes in the child the sense of:

a. betrayal

b. abuse

c. rejection

1. To the child, betrayal is a violation of his trust

a. A child is very vulnerable in that he trusts so completely in that he trusts so instinctively and he has been taught to trust those closest to him.

b. That trust in others is based on the inherient lack of confidence which he has in himself.

2. Because the child's trust is so closely linked to his respect for authority he will subdue his hurt, thinking the authority figure must be right.

a. He will over rule his natural instincts in light of the urging of his authority figures, (i.e. He is on a high object and his father says, "JUMP, I'll catch you.")

b. That over-ruling of his own instinct makes him vulnerable to future situations which are inconsistent with what he has been taught.


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I am nothing without Him. For He is my Savior and my light.
He brings me to a land of promise and flourishes my generations. He keeps me from harm and wakes my sleeping eyes.
For more information on A Walk Toward Jesus go to www.awtj.org
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2default Re: As the Twig is Bent on Mon Mar 03, 2008 10:43 am

Pamela

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3. Betrayal is the breaking of a convenant of trust which the child has embraced as his basis of security based on the pledge of another.

B. Abuse. Any interaction with the child which is demeaning to him as a person, must be considered to be abuse.

1. punishment in any form which is administered out of anger without assurances of love is abusive.

2. Neglecting to affirm the child as a person.

3. A very common form of abuse is verbal which includes, criticism, teasing, threats, yelling or correcting in a loud voice.

4. Beating is a destructive form.

5. Sexual abuse.

C. Rejection. Rejection is that fear or sense of non-acceptance in the child based on the actual perceived actions or attitudes of someone whose acceptance he desires.

1. The spirit of the child is so sensitive that he easily feels or preceives rejection by those for whom he cares the most.

2. Adults frequently lose contact with the childish mind and can be abrupt or unfeeling about things which are important to the child.

3. When a child is told that he was an "accident" he will feel rejected.

4. Absenteeism by either parent or both parents which is not explained and in which the support of the child is not solicited, will produce rejection.

5. Irrational or excessive punishment produces a sense of rejection.

6. Verbal abuse is a very powerful cause of the sense of rejection.

3. The child is undevoped in his system of thinking and will adopt that of the authority figure.

a. He will view the authority figure with, love, trust, and high expectations.

b. He will see himself as being in the wrong in any area of conflict.

1. He will develope the attitudes reguarding himself which he perceives to be those of the authority figure.

2. As a result he will strive to fulfill that role.

3. That role will be continuously expanded as his viewpoint of life.

4. In every situation which reminds him of his failure he will see the authority figure's attitude as teh determining factor as to what his acceptable pattern of behavior should be.

5. He will then assume the blame for the betrayal, abuse and rejection perpetrated by those authority figures.

The child will try to repeatedly to gain approval.

a. He will use those techniques which he

1. sees the parent use

2. sees others use

3. derives from his own imagination

b. Since he is unable to see from an adult perspective and has tried all that is within his own narrow perspective to gain approval, he becomes very vulnerable to injury.

1. His injury will be derived from repeatedly trying to gain approval.

2. Since he has continuously met failure in his efforts, he will enlarge his circle of blame to include the person he has been unable to reach.

3. He will now include the authority figure in the circle of blame and that person will become the focus of his hurt.

Suppression in the immediate mode of coping by the child.

a. The painful experience of childhood are contained in suppressed memories in the adult.

b. These suppressed memories govern much of the reactions, attitudes and expectations in life in adult life.


_________________
I am nothing without Him. For He is my Savior and my light.
He brings me to a land of promise and flourishes my generations. He keeps me from harm and wakes my sleeping eyes.
For more information on A Walk Toward Jesus go to www.awtj.org
http://awtj.webs.com

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