An Inner Healing:

It is the will of God that every believer have a powerful, abundant and victorious life. Jesus said, "I am come that they might have life and that more abundant. John 10:10.

Other references say: "Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us." Romans 8:37 and "Now, thanks be unto God who always causes us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savor of his knowledge by us in every place. 2 Cor. 2:14

It is a well known fact that many believers live below their priviledges and do not experience the abundant life. Gal.4:9

This is largely so because of the defeats which we experience in the forms of hurtful experiences and of sins which we commit. Heb. 12:1

Most of us understand that we experience defeat when these things comes into our lives, however, many of us don't understand their long-term effect on us when, through reluctance and rebellion or ignorance, we do not resolve them. 1John 3:22-23

Our subconscious memory is a vast storehouse. Everything in life that we have been exposed to in life is stored there, including memories of sin and hurt.

Psalms 139:23-24

Those memories of past hurtful experience are stored in our memory bank (heart) where they are out of sight, (but not out of mind). They are even more defeating and deadly because of their hidden nature.

Proverbs 4:23

The theme of my study is:

How these experiences affect us when they happen.

What we do to cope.

Their long-term affect on us and others.

How to be free from them..

Development of Hurt: Genesis 37-45; Zech.13:6; Psalms 55:12-16; Matthew 26:47-50.

The experience of hurt (and memory of it) is one of the most powerfully destructive forces there is in the human heart. It destroys: Lives, human relationships, familes, whole societies by war, etc...

Hurt defined: "Hurt is an offense taken at a perceived injustice by the attitude/actions of one whom we hold in high regard."

There is a difference between being involved in a hurtful situation and actually receiving the hurt from it.

We have two basic options when confronted with a hurtful situation:

1. We can obtain the grace of God for healing through immediate forgiveness... Heb.12:15 with Heb.4:15-16.

2. We can accept the hurt as our "right" in view of the injustice we have suffered and as a result refuse to forgive. .

When we don't forgive it is because, (1) we don't feel that the offender deserves to be forgiven. Eph. 4:32. (2) We don't feel that the other person has been punished enough, (Heb.10:30.) (3) We do not want to make ourselves vulnerable again (Matthew 5:38-42)

The 3 basic kinds of people to whom we are exposed are:

Non-relational. These people are liek the scenery which we see but are rarely impacted by.

Service relationships. These are the people who serve us in various professional and clerical categories with whom we have only a detached relationship.

Bonded relationships. The people to whom we are bonded are the people we are the most intimate with-those we care for the most.

We are affected most when the source of our hurt comes from someone with whom we are bonded; someone we have:
loved, trusted, or of whom we have had high expectations. Psalms 55:12-13

That sense of injustice, which is the seed-bed of hurt, comes from the feeling of being, abused, rejected and/or betrayed. Zech.13:6

As a result of hurt our, trust changes to cynicism. High expectations are disllusioned. Love turns to hatered.

Our personality and attitude are strongly affected based on our continued perception of offense. The effects are: The formulation stage is when the attitude of bitterness is being formed. As the sense of injustice grows stronger, there are powerful reactions that occur which are very formidable in response to our hurt. The final stage is when our whole personality is formatted with the imprint of bitterness.

When the grace of God (which enables the person to forgive) is not obtained at the time of offense, that offense is then internalized as hurt.

All offense is the result of feeling a sense of unjustice. The sense of unjustice is the feeling of: Being deprived of something good, which we deserved or something bad being put on us which we didn't deserve.

The Compounding of Hurt: Proverbs 4:23, Proverbs 23:7; Heb. 12:15-16; Luke 4:18.

The offenses which we personalize result in a sense of hurt which is compounded in the heart, (mind, will and emotions.)

The will: Unforgivness is an act or choice of the will.

There is a first response to an offense. (1) We choose to charge OR not charge, wrongful intent to the offender.

We choose to accept and to internalize the hurt OR release it to the grace of God.

The afflicted chooses whether or not to forgive.

Forgiveness is always a choice.

It requires addressing the hurtful incidents which we tend to avoid because of the discomfort involved.

There are costs involved, in terms of restoring the offender, which we may not want to bear.

The mind: Bitterness is derived from that sense of injustice and is entrenched as a state of mind.

The root of bitterness: The text uses the analogy of a "root" to describe the development of bitterness in the mind of the person who does not receive the grace of God in the time of need. Heb.12:15

the seed from which a root springs is representative of the hurt from which bitterness is developed.

First comes the root.

HEART: AS A MAN THINKITH IN HIS HEART SO IS HE. Proverbs 23:7

The total personality of man is effected by the experience of hurt. It expresses itself emotinally, mentally and volitionally.

HURT stems outward:

Hurt=emotion=anger

Hurt=will=unforgivness

Hurt=mind=bitterness

Then the shoot, (stem) and last the fruit.

Bitterness affects the person who is bitter by producing varied types of trouble in his life.

Others associated with him (1) who personalize the offense and become offended Psalms 15:3 (2) who become the target of offensive actions by the offended (3) who become the buffer between the offended and others.

Bitterness manifests itself in attitudinal changes. It produces a profane attitude toward God, i.e. taking the things of God lightly. Heb. 12:13...It produces compulsive desires, i.e. lusts, greed, etc...

When bitterness is unresolved, it causes a succession of stages of bondage. Luke 4:18 which are:

The bruise:
He is walking around wounded.

He has internalized hurts but does not address them for various reasons (1) he feels that he can handle them, (2) he thinks that he can ignore them and they will pass, (3) He, not accepting the responsibility for internalizing the hurt, will feel that his offender owes him reconcilation or seom evidence of repentance. (4) Since he doesn't address his hurts he will ultimately go through a hardening process.

When confronted about his attitude of bitterness, he will respond in the following ways which are clear indications of the hardening process:

1. Denial of bitterness

2. Projection of hurt and bitterness

3. Justification of negative attitude toward those that caused the hurt.

The blind:

He justifies his bitterness.

He follows a basic path (Rom.1:21-23) in which he:

1. gives no glory to God in his hurt

2. is devoid of the spirit of thanksgiving

3. is given over to rational thinking without spiritual insight.

4. arrogant in his own wisdom

5. creates a god of his own design, having rejected teh sovereign design of God in his life.

He is spiritually blinded to the degree that he has totally suppressed all desire for, and confidence in, God.

The bound...

He has no desire for the things of God...

He is completely self centered...

His life is marked by compulsivity...

He has given such grounds to the devil that he becomes oppressed by him.

The broken...

God's approach to humanity is always redemptive...

He is committed to restoration of His children....

He will bring to bear an array of circumstances which breaks the stubborness of the bound.

He comes with grace and mercy for healing when that brokeness has occured.

The spiral of bitterness....James 4:16

When a person is bitter over the hurt in his life a chain reaction occurs which has spiraling characteristics.

He progresses through deeper attitudinal changes...

He becomes consistenly more introverted, causing him to be alienated from others...

Brought to the ultimate conculsion, he could be destructive to himself and/or others...

The emotions: there is a reaction of the emotions which comes forth in the form of anger (eph. 4:26)

Anger is a powerful and active force which is derived from :

1. fear

2. frustration

3. a sense of injustice resulting from the offenses of others.

When it is suppressed, anger increases in intensity and pressure in the form of wrath, i.e. wrath is anger intensified under pressure (rom. 1:18

When wrath is not redemptively addressed it continues to intensify to a destructive point called rage. As rage it will ultimately:

Explode: The pressure released suddenly, outwardly. The resulting explosion causes a rupture of social relationships and/or damage to the person.

Or

Implode: Finding no outward release, the pressure is directed inwardly. An implosion creates a multitude of internal problems in the body and personality.

The enemies method of operation is almost always “undercover.” Subtly, he manipulates hindering circumstances and inspires evil thoughts or temptations, disguising his activities behind the shroud of people or things. He will always seek to divert attention and blame for his actions upon others. But make no mistake, he is the real enemy, not your husband, wife, employer, government or Christian brethren!“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12).

Psalms 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: 24And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Hebrews 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

Most people do not cope properly with hurt. Heb. 4:16

1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

Many, not knowing how to properly address their pain, simply suppress the thought and emotions of it. Proverbs 28:13 He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.

This actually results in a suppression of the memory associated with the pain. The suppression is actually a suppression of the lows in our emotional SWING. Isa.61:33 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

There are emotional consequences to the suppression of our "lows." Psalm 32:3-4 When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long. 4For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me: my moisture is turned into the drought of summer. Selah.


When the hurt is not addressed the lows are suppressed to prevent the feeling of pain.

Our emotions must balance.

Suppression of lows will cause an equal suppression of highs.

Using this as a method of coping ultimately robs the person of any emotional repsonses ot life.

Memory NEVER dies!

The pain which a person experiences is attached to the memory of the offense and, unless addressed, remains a s long as the memory.

Its in a hidden state, the pain is the most hazardous. It produces complications in th total life of the person, the cause of which may not readily be discernible.

To heal the pain, the suppressed memory of the painful episode must be recalled as vividly as possible.

Often, there are "hot spots" ( i.e. memory which is continually vivid on the conscious level) which require no effort to recall.

Sometimes the memory has been buried so long that more effort is required to recall it.

Regardless of whether the memory is deeply buried or that which is never far from the conscious memory, it can be equally destructive to the person.

Only the Holy Spirit can adequadetly assess and reveal the memory which must be addressed. Psalms 139:23-24 23Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: 24And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Dealing with your hurt or pain...Eph.4:26;30-32...

Unaddressed memory of hurt, because of the painfulness of it's recall, remains hidden.

Painful memories are suppressed because we don't know how, or don't want, to address them.

For these to be healing, the memory of our hurt must be addressed one by one.

To be the most effective they should be confided to another.

This should be a person in whom we place a great deal of confidence and who will be totaly confidential. James 5:16

Reasons why we don't want to address our pain:

There are certain "perks" attached to being the "victim" of injustice that we don't want to lose.

Pride will keep us from admitting our need..

Passivity will cause us to procrastinate.

Unconditional forgiveness is the most essential ingredient of the healing process. Matthew 6:12.

We must unconditionally forgive, (a) the person who hurt us, Matth.18:32-33. (b) God for permitting the hurt, Romans. 8:28. (c) Ourselves for accepting the hurt and the attitudes which we have embraced of it.

To forgiven unconditionally, the following ingredients must be in place:

1. We must accept the responsibility for personalizing the offense, being hurt.

2. The "charges", the accusations which we feel, against the person who hurt us, must be dropped.

3. All "judgments," assessment of current and future motives, made against them must be cancelled.

4. He must be unconditionally released from all responsibilities for the hurt he has caused us.

Healing is the work of Jesus through His work on the cross Isaiah 53:3-6.

In order to know the benefits of His work for us, we must first know Him through thenew birth. 1Peter 1:23

It is through a recongnition of our helplessness that we can receive His help. 2Cor.12:9-10.

The healing process, to be effective, cannot be manipulative. It must be determinate and definitive prayer addressed to the Heavenly Father. Matthew 6:9-15.

A spirit of thanksgiving will help to solidify the healing process and to certify it completion. 1Thess.5:18;Eph.5:20